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My Time with Pedro* – Day 4

It’s Sunday and we had breakfast in the same buffet type of restaurant as yesterday. In the early afternoon Pedro wanted to go to the cinema to watch the movie “The Women in Black” since he enjoys watching movies so much. It was a horror movie unfortunately focusing more on shocking effects than telling an interesting and unforeseeable story which I appreciate most in movies.

In the late afternoon Pedro and I went for a walk in one of the major parks of the city. When walking you have the option of three different round trips differentiating in their lengths. We chose the medium one which was 7km or so. Walking in the park seems to be a popular activity since there were quite a number of people. I also enjoyed the walk since it gave me the opportunity to talk to Pedro, learn more about him and tell him more about me.

One topic we talked about was what Pedro actually likes in me and I was very much surprised hearing him saying my blond hair and blue eyes. So far nobody told me he mainly likes me for my physical appearance. I consider myself as average looking and most times people like me it’s because me and my whole life are somewhat special and there is for sure no second person like me in this world. But in Brazil it seems to be different. Whenever I walk on the street or go to a bar or nightclub I feel men being more attracted to me than back home and try to speak to me, touch me or kiss me straight away. Brazilian men seem to be attracted by blond women with blue eyes and light skin since they are perceived as somewhat exotic and probably I’m also attracted by Brazilian men because they look exotic compared to German men even when I don’t care much about physical appearance.

I don’t know if it’s true or not but my gut feeling was Pedro is more attracted by my physical appearance than by me as a person. Probably he would not be interested in me if I was in a different body. While I don’t like this feeling Pedro didn’t seem to have any problem with it. He actually said men in general are attracted by physical appearance and he’s just speaking out loud what many men think. Maybe he’s right, maybe not. I will definitely investigate further and ask some of my previous boyfriends and lovers why they were actually attracted to me.

Speaking about true blonds being perceived as exotic in Brazil I guess every Brazilian man having a blond girlfriend is also using them to show off as they like to do with their exotic cars. See I can afford this exotic car and I paid a high import tax on it so I’m rich. Or see I own a blond girlfriend with blue eyes so I must be great and I also spend lots of money to satisfy such a woman. But actually women are human beings and they cannot be owned unless they sell their soul for money. I really don’t care how much money my boyfriend has but seek for true love. I wish Pedro saw more in me than just my physical appearance but probably there was not too much more he was attracted to which I found depressing to experience.

(* name changed)